After making a trip of South India , Santa Singh ,his wife and his son were returning to punjab in Tamilnadu Express. Santa Singh was occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requested Santa Singh to bring him a cup of Ice cream to which Santa readily agreed. When Santa and his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understand hindi had occupied his son's birth . Outraged, Santa Singh called the TT and asked him to help. TT  requested that he could not understand Hindi/Punjabi so it would be better if Santa Singh explained the whole situation to him in English. Santa Singh explained , " That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."  

Relax !!

One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in America. A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing" Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy Came and asked the same Question. Sardar answered " No No Me Banta Singh" Third one came and asked the same question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing " Our Sardar slapped him on his face and said, "Salay, Sab tere Ko wahah doond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai

Left Handed

Mr Banta Singh is traveling from Moscow to Turban Pore [Capital of Khalistan] by Kithe Pacific. Seated besides him is Gary Kasparov. Gary asks him whether he would like to play chess to kill time. Banta : 'Oye Gar(r)y. You think I don't know who U are?. I can't compete with a world champion' Gary : 'How about if I play left handed ?'

Banta : [Think.. Think..] 'OK!' Banta is demolished in 4 moves... and is very upset through-out the rest of the journey. On landing he meets his friend Santa Singh.

Banta : Hey! U know what! I played Chess with Gary Kasparov and he defeated me inspite of him playing left-handed..... Santa : Oye ullu-de pathey!! He sure did fool you!! U know what!! Gary IS LEFT-HANDED!! 

BEPPO singh queuing behind his friend at an ATM machine.

Friend: What are you looking at?
Beppo Singh: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Beppo Singh: four asterisks!  

BEPPO singh while in grade school.
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Beppo Singh: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Beppo Singh: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!
BEPPO singh needs vitamins for grandson.
Beppo Singh: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Beppo Singh: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!! 
BEPPO singh stuck on the escalator.
Lotta Singh: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs. because of a power failure.
Beppo Singh: Thats alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.
Happy Reading
A Sardarji, stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!"
"Yes, sir?"
"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!"
"What was wrong with it?"
"It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!"
The librarian nodded and said, "Ah. So you must be the person who took our phone book."
Answer in "Brief"

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'."

Then there were two sardars, Zail singh & Jarnail singh. Both of them bought a horse each.

"How will we know which is your & which is mine?" asked Zail.

"Easy" replied Jarnail. "I'll cut mine's tail, yours will be the one with tail"

This was heard by a few boys ,they cut the other's tail too.

Next morning the confusion continued. "Don't worry "retorted Jarnail. "I'll tie a bell around its neck, yours will be the one without the bell."

The boys heard this also & cut the bell.

The next day, Zail got frustrated & said

"Okay now the last criterion, white will be yours & black will be mine."

Saree and Daughters
Santa Singh was traveling in a crowded bus. He was carrying the passport size photograph of his son (for college admission). Accidentally, the photograph fell down from his pocket.

When Santa tried to pick it up the photograph slipped under a woman's saree. He asked her "Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph"

The rest is history.

He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted to hospital.

He was surprised to see Banta Singh on the bed next to him, in a worse condition. Banta explained what happened to him He had gone to a remote village to work. He finished late and missed the last bus. He couldn't find any hotel.

So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether he can stay there for the night. The Owner replied" I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can't allow you to stay".

He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for the night. The Owner replied," I have 3 grown up daughters. Sorry,I can't allow you to stay".

He went to the next house and asked:" Do you have "grown up" Daughters?".

The Owner asked," WHY?????????"

Banta replied," I wanted to stay here for a night....."

Intelligent Banta
Bantu returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his father." Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Sardar?"

"No son, that's because you are intelligent. "

Bantu seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, "Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Sardar ??"

"No son, that's because you are intelligent," replies his father.

Happy with the answer, Bantu poses another question to his father, "Dad, today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was atleast twice their height. Is that because I am Sardar ??"

The father replies, "No son, that's because you are 31 years old."

Life Saver
One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks.

The passengers were horrified.

On the next Railway station the driver was caught. He was found to be a Sardar.

He was questioned. He explained that there was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after lots of honks etc.

Then authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad! just to save life of one person you put life of so many passengers under danger. You should have overran that person.

Sardar said : Exactly, that is what i also decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close.

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